roseembolism (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
roseembolism) wrote2005-03-06 09:31 pm
roseembolism) wrote2005-03-06 09:31 pm
Bogging- a true story
When you're making a two hour run in a flatbed truck carrying three people and a broken down Infiniti G20 the whole 110 miles from Hawthorne to Santa Barbara, all on a dark and stormy night, there's not much to do but tell stories.
He was built like a barrel, and showed us the tattoos of wolves he had on his arms- the one on the right of a mated pair that a friend of his was keeping in a pen, the one on the left, in his words, "his spirit animal". He was rough and he laughed good naturedly at our predicament, and grinned a lot. But he was willing to drive us almost two hundred miles back to Santa Barbara, knowing he'd get back home around 2AM in the morning. And he told great stories.
I told him about the time my father's Malibu- shortly before we sold it off to charity- peeled the bumper right off a sports car, sustaining only small scratches in the process. And that led to his telling us about the time he and his friends bought old cars from charities and took them out to the desert, where they blew them to hell with Stinger missiles, acquired from some place I was afraid to ask about. He told us of the friend who built a bunker in the middle of the desert full of weaponry, including a restored Tiger tank...and no door to get it out.... He said, "So I asked him, "How are you going to get it out of there? Drive it through two feet of reinforced steel?" "Dunno. didn't think of that."" And he also talked about bogging.
What was bogging? We had heard the term earlier, and were curious. Next to the garage he's based out of, is a large lot that used to be a water park, with slides and pools. Now it is just an empty field, with holes where the pools used to be, and during the rains, the entire place becomes one huge morass dotted with pools of mud. A bog, in other words. The guys at the garage would take their 4X4s and the large flatbed tow trucks from the garage, and have a grand old time, racing, skidding, charging through the mud. There was one pond in the middle that was particularly deep; even the 4X4 drivers had to be careful going through it. Our driver mentioned it got him in trouble one time, because though he cleaned the outside of the car carefully, the engine compartment was covered in mud-- leading to some pointed questions from his boss. The time he tried the same stunt with his girlfriend's truck led to even more trouble. And then there was the yuppie kid...
After one major rainstorm, the entire gang was there, having fun splashing though the mud in the service vehicles and heavy-duty 4X4s. There was ALSO present a young yuppie from the Los Angeles hills, with his Lexus SUV- the 65,000 dollar tricked-out version. He decided to do some offroading, too...right into the middle pond, where it stuck, and then dug itself down.
And then the fun began: the kid had AAA, but the guys were happy to point out that AAA didn't cover offroading accidents. They were willing to tow him out for the standard fee, and tossed him a cable. After floundering about in the waist-deep mud for a while, the kid asked where he should attach the cable.
"It has to go around the axle."
While the kid was diving into the mud to attach the cable, the kids father showed up, furious. He watched with the gang as the SUV was towed out of the mud, and then began to berate the kid: "What made you think you could go in there!?" The kid replied, "The others were doing it." Dad points to the flatbed. "Do you see how big that truck is? Do you see how high the mud is on it? WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?!"
At this point, Dad goes over to the SUV and opens up the door. Note that the SUV had been in four feet of mud, and the kid had opened the door to get out of the truck. When Dad opened the door, he now gets four feet of mud on his suit.
At this point, as the entire gang watched, Dad decked the kid.
But the fun wasn't over: when the car got stuck in the mud, the kid did the natural thing for idiots to do: he gunned the (now under mud) engine. With the engine (and probably the transmission and everything else) a total loss, the father asked for a tow to his home in the hills. Again, (big grin) AAA doesn’t cover that- but for four hundred dollars, he'll tow it. Dad angrily refuses. Well, that would be fine, but if he leaves it there, it's a $150.00 per day storage charge. Dad threatens to sue: Big grin and a shrug "Go RIGHT ahead. Be my guest."
And so passed a rainy night on a highway in California, listening to him tell stories, believing every word, because this is California, and he's the sort of person who inhabits California. Fully down to earth, yet having that weirdness unique to Americans that's concentrated here on the west coast. If I were to try to explain Americans to a foreigner, he is the example I'd use, and I guarantee you, they'd be baffled.
He was built like a barrel, and showed us the tattoos of wolves he had on his arms- the one on the right of a mated pair that a friend of his was keeping in a pen, the one on the left, in his words, "his spirit animal". He was rough and he laughed good naturedly at our predicament, and grinned a lot. But he was willing to drive us almost two hundred miles back to Santa Barbara, knowing he'd get back home around 2AM in the morning. And he told great stories.
I told him about the time my father's Malibu- shortly before we sold it off to charity- peeled the bumper right off a sports car, sustaining only small scratches in the process. And that led to his telling us about the time he and his friends bought old cars from charities and took them out to the desert, where they blew them to hell with Stinger missiles, acquired from some place I was afraid to ask about. He told us of the friend who built a bunker in the middle of the desert full of weaponry, including a restored Tiger tank...and no door to get it out.... He said, "So I asked him, "How are you going to get it out of there? Drive it through two feet of reinforced steel?" "Dunno. didn't think of that."" And he also talked about bogging.
What was bogging? We had heard the term earlier, and were curious. Next to the garage he's based out of, is a large lot that used to be a water park, with slides and pools. Now it is just an empty field, with holes where the pools used to be, and during the rains, the entire place becomes one huge morass dotted with pools of mud. A bog, in other words. The guys at the garage would take their 4X4s and the large flatbed tow trucks from the garage, and have a grand old time, racing, skidding, charging through the mud. There was one pond in the middle that was particularly deep; even the 4X4 drivers had to be careful going through it. Our driver mentioned it got him in trouble one time, because though he cleaned the outside of the car carefully, the engine compartment was covered in mud-- leading to some pointed questions from his boss. The time he tried the same stunt with his girlfriend's truck led to even more trouble. And then there was the yuppie kid...
After one major rainstorm, the entire gang was there, having fun splashing though the mud in the service vehicles and heavy-duty 4X4s. There was ALSO present a young yuppie from the Los Angeles hills, with his Lexus SUV- the 65,000 dollar tricked-out version. He decided to do some offroading, too...right into the middle pond, where it stuck, and then dug itself down.
And then the fun began: the kid had AAA, but the guys were happy to point out that AAA didn't cover offroading accidents. They were willing to tow him out for the standard fee, and tossed him a cable. After floundering about in the waist-deep mud for a while, the kid asked where he should attach the cable.
"It has to go around the axle."
While the kid was diving into the mud to attach the cable, the kids father showed up, furious. He watched with the gang as the SUV was towed out of the mud, and then began to berate the kid: "What made you think you could go in there!?" The kid replied, "The others were doing it." Dad points to the flatbed. "Do you see how big that truck is? Do you see how high the mud is on it? WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?!"
At this point, Dad goes over to the SUV and opens up the door. Note that the SUV had been in four feet of mud, and the kid had opened the door to get out of the truck. When Dad opened the door, he now gets four feet of mud on his suit.
At this point, as the entire gang watched, Dad decked the kid.
But the fun wasn't over: when the car got stuck in the mud, the kid did the natural thing for idiots to do: he gunned the (now under mud) engine. With the engine (and probably the transmission and everything else) a total loss, the father asked for a tow to his home in the hills. Again, (big grin) AAA doesn’t cover that- but for four hundred dollars, he'll tow it. Dad angrily refuses. Well, that would be fine, but if he leaves it there, it's a $150.00 per day storage charge. Dad threatens to sue: Big grin and a shrug "Go RIGHT ahead. Be my guest."
And so passed a rainy night on a highway in California, listening to him tell stories, believing every word, because this is California, and he's the sort of person who inhabits California. Fully down to earth, yet having that weirdness unique to Americans that's concentrated here on the west coast. If I were to try to explain Americans to a foreigner, he is the example I'd use, and I guarantee you, they'd be baffled.