Operation "Rescue Pepper" Commences Tonight!

[roseembolism]

So to make a long story short, our prize pepper plant was blown off our window box, and landed in the back porch of our jerkish downstairs neighbors. We attempted peaceful negotiations, but they didn't even answer the door (we did hear the wife yelling at him later; I hope it wasn't "Why haven't you redeemed our honor by KILLING them!). Obviously, since they don't even use their porch, they merely intend to watch our pepper plant lowly die.

So, we have to fall back on PLAN B to rescue our pepper plant.

The problem is, I'm not quite sure what PLAN B is.

I know that I can't simply sneak over their fence and rescue the plant- it's too tall for one thing, and it would be trespassing for another. So, I have to get the plant out without touching ground in their yard. too save the plant, I should do this as soon as possible, preferably tonight.

SITUATION:

The pepper plant itself is in a plastic pot, with a curved-over lip, about 1.5 feet tall by 1.5 feet in diameter. The plant itself is about two feet tall. It probably weighs at least 25 pounds. It is lying on its side, about three or four four feet from the vertical line of our porch. It is about fifteen feet to floor level. The fence itself is slats, with narrow spaces between, and bushes on the outside.

ASSETS:

I have over a hundred feet of nylon rope, an electric drill, assorted screws, wrenches, coat hangers (wire and plastic), tons of knitting yarn, and possibly some brackets. I can also hit OSH or the sporting goods store.


Questions:

Does OSH or your average sporting goods store sell small grappling hooks? Can I rig something up with large fish hooks? Should I get a Barbie Fishing Pole? Should I try braiding a rope ladder?

Does anyone have any other suggestions?  Our pepper plant depends on our ingenuity!

Comments

[devonapple.livejournal.com]

You could just take a wire coat hanger and trim it with wire cutters, bend and fashion into a custom grappling hook/fish hook

[roseembolism.livejournal.com]

I've been thinking of that; the problem is, I'm not sure I can make one which will bear the weight of the plant.

I did point out to my lovely wife that if I had a crossbow, I could shoot a hunting arrow attched to a cord into the pot, and easily haul it up. But NOOOOO, I don't get to have a crossbow. She snorted at me over this.

[devonapple.livejournal.com]

Maybe you could braid together several hangers worth of wire to make a heftier hook

[roseembolism.livejournal.com]

That could work. I'll get started on that, and I'll also check the sporting good store for large, shark-sized fish hooks.

[therobbergirl.livejournal.com]

The plant and pot weigh about 25 pounds?! Wow, I'm glad that didn't hit anybody even though they are jerks! That could've gotten someone seriously hurt.

[roseembolism.livejournal.com]

Yes well, it was a pretty safe bet nobody would get hit, since they don't use their back yard. They don't even store stuff in it. It's just a vacant expanse of concrete.

sakusen no henkou

[racerxmachina.livejournal.com]

The plant doesn't weigh 25 pounds, it weighs about 10 at most, wet.

I called the landlord, explained that it fell while I was complying with her wishes to move the plants away from the balcony. She'll call them tonight, I'll go home at 6 so that I can meet her.

ju use my yarn, I keel ju, slow.

Re: sakusen no henkou

[roseembolism.livejournal.com]

The yearn would be sacrificed foor a good cause! Besides, if I only used a mile or two of it, you'd hardly notice it was gone.

And I am still going to procede with the operation, just in case. I've been thinkng we need a grappling hook anyway.

Re: sakusen no henkou

[racerxmachina.livejournal.com]

NO.

Just no.

Please.

I'll have the landlord by the house tonight, the last thing we need after dropping something in their yard and the crap with the flooding is to be suspected by our neighbors of breaking and entering.

Re: sakusen no henkou

[devonapple.livejournal.com]

How about guilty of "breaking and awesomeness?"

"Breakin' II: Electric Boogaloo?"

Re: sakusen no henkou

[racerxmachina.livejournal.com]

pls to reserve all wacky hijinx for con

Re: sakusen no henkou

[devonapple.livejournal.com]

Ohnoes! Not a moratorium on hijinks!

Re: sakusen no henkou

[racerxmachina.livejournal.com]

perhaps you could have your hijinx... over there.... where you are... quietly.

Re: sakusen no henkou

[roseembolism.livejournal.com]

That's a great idea! I can go over to his house, and we can make the grappling hook and practice with it before we commence the operation!

So Dev old boy, do you have any neighbors with plastic flower pots?

Re: sakusen no henkou

[devonapple.livejournal.com]

Absolutely! We just don't have a second-floor balcony to use as a test location.

We'll have to find an office park. Wait, didn't you find a bunch of abandoned ones? Did they ahve any second-story railings over which we could test our device?

Re: sakusen no henkou

[roseembolism.livejournal.com]

Excellent idea! There's a very nice, fashionable one nearby with 2nd. floor balconies, lots of lush landscaping, lunch areas, and the like. I can't understand why it's deserted- probably due to a mysterious series of murders involving teenagers.

Re: sakusen no henkou

[devonapple.livejournal.com]

And we can ensure that it remains deserted... in the fine old tradition!

Re: sakusen no henkou

[devonapple.livejournal.com]

Hijinks have no boundaries! They want to be freeee!

[baronlaw.livejournal.com]

You are missing an opportunity here! Report them to management as Pepper Plant Thieves!

"Those lousy downstairs neighbors who blame us for everything have now taken matters into their own hands and kidnapped our pepper plant!!!!"

[devonapple.livejournal.com]

Brilliant!

[baronlaw.livejournal.com]

Except Racerxmachina already told them it was an accident.

spoilsport :P

[meorime.livejournal.com]

Ooo! I like this. And write a letter, pleading for the life of the plant, detailing its charming points, its unique qualities, maybe even a picture, and slip said poignant letter under their door.

Oh, and maybe make a video with said plea being read and post it on You Tube.

::nods::

[baronlaw.livejournal.com]

" We'd just like to thank all the members of the press for letting us beg for the return of our poor pepper plant. Please please just let it go! It never hurt you and anyone else... *sob*"

[racerxmachina.livejournal.com]

I raised that plant from a seed (this is true!) and it has peppers on it, so THOSE ARE MY ADOPTIVE GRANDCHILDREN!

THE SOLUTION!!!

[roseembolism.livejournal.com]

A brilliant person over on rpg.net had a BRILLIANT idea, involving this little fellow here:




It's simple! We just buy the monkey, lower him down on a rope, he grabs the plant or cleverly hooks a rope to it, and then we haul hum and the plant back up!

And best of all, we'll have a MONKEY afterwards! Alice and Dorothy will have someone to play with! Someone who eats lolipops!

Re: THE SOLUTION!!!

[sakon76.livejournal.com]

Monkey idea FTW! racerxmachina can teach the monkey to knit afterwards (since from what I understand Alice and Dorothy haven't yet managed to pick up the skill). Plant rescue + knitting buddy, all in one fell swoop! Brilliant!

[racerxmachina.livejournal.com]

Only ONE monkey in my house, and I'm it.

[roseembolism.livejournal.com]

But there's plenty of more room in the barrel!

[etoilenoir959.livejournal.com]

So now that it's two days later... did you ever rescue the pepper plant?

[roseembolism.livejournal.com]

Actually, yes we did. through top-secret negotiations and rapid-fire diplomacy, we managed to get our pepper plant back. and after a long soak in the bathroom sink, it's perked up and seems as good as new.