roseembolism (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
roseembolism) wrote2010-01-09 04:53 pm
roseembolism) wrote2010-01-09 04:53 pm
That Pirate and Ninja thing, Redeux.
Just when I thought the whole issue had been settled, I wander across another Top 10 list (written by an alleged practitioner of Ninjutsu) that redoes the "Pirate vs. Ninja" debate, with a catalog of all the ways a ninja could beat a pirate in a fight. I sighed, because to me, focusing on combat misses the point of Pirates vs. Ninjas. Really, the whole question isn't really one of combat prowess, but of coolness and fun. And when it comes to lifestyle, the pirates have it all over the ninjas. Compare:
Ninja: "My life is not my own. I must complete all assignments I am ordered to do even if it means my death. So I will grimly complete this job and then die, because that is what I've been told to do, and I will never have sex because I haven't been ordered to do that."
Pirate: "I'M ONNA BOAT! I'M ONNA MOTHER*Bleep*N' BOAT!"
So while the ninja is working for six years at the Meiji equivalent of Wallmart waiting for that one chance to kill his target, the pirate is out on his boat enjoying his bling, and singing, and whoring, and drinking and stuff. The choice is simple: Wallmart or bling, and when it comes to living the good life, the pirate gets the good stuff.
Ninja: "My life is not my own. I must complete all assignments I am ordered to do even if it means my death. So I will grimly complete this job and then die, because that is what I've been told to do, and I will never have sex because I haven't been ordered to do that."
Pirate: "I'M ONNA BOAT! I'M ONNA MOTHER*Bleep*N' BOAT!"
So while the ninja is working for six years at the Meiji equivalent of Wallmart waiting for that one chance to kill his target, the pirate is out on his boat enjoying his bling, and singing, and whoring, and drinking and stuff. The choice is simple: Wallmart or bling, and when it comes to living the good life, the pirate gets the good stuff.