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roseembolism) wrote2010-02-04 09:11 pm
Revealed: The Secret Language of Reviewers!
niallharrison: Hats is fantasy of manners. Steampunk is hats *and goggles*
niallharrison: Noir: a story in which it is raining.
niallharrison: Cyberpunk: a story set in the future in which it is raining.
SpiralGalaxy: Slipstream: a story in which strange things happen but there are no wizards.
niallharrison: Post-cyberpunk: nobody really knows, but it sounds good.
snurri: Golden age SF: Old books that I have not read.
SFDiplomat: 'Expressionistic' : a film with a non-realistic or stylised set.
SFDiplomat: 'Beautifully written' : It contains lots of long sentences and words I didn't recognize
SFDiplomat: 'Epic' : Four times as long as it needs to be and twice as long as sanity can bear
genreville: Nuanced: I didn't understand it.
genreville: Fans will love it: I have no idea why anyone would ever buy or read this book.
SFDiplomat: 'Core Genre' : Indistinguishable in style and content from books written twenty years ago.
genreville: Transcends the genre: I liked it but don't think I should have.
genreville: "Unfortunately", used anywhere in the review: I didn't like it but think I should have.
SFDiplomat: 'Unfortunately' : Used in order to give the illusion of good will or even-handedness. Syn. "...and what's worse..."
ccfinlay: High-octane: I sped through it at a ridiculous speed in order to get to something else.
genreville: Powerful: a book in which at least two different people cry.
LeeAHarris: Traditional: old-fashioned.
SpiralGalaxy: Character driven: occasionally the characters talk about something other than the plot.
genreville: Erotic: a book containing at least four sex scenes, all of which the reviewer skipped.
genreville: Sizzling: a book containing at least four sex scenes, all of which the reviewer enjoyed.
johnottinger: Lacks characterization: My worldview does not allow me to understand these people.
LeeAHarris: Paradoxically: I'm unsure if I enjoyed this book or not.
johnottinger: Exciting: I am incapable of using a thesaurus.
SFDiplomat: 'Feminist Science Fiction' : Science fiction in which one of the characters has a sex change
genreville: Paranormal: a story in which supposed nonhumans do eminently human things.
LeeAHarris: A sequel is more or less guaranteed: The story has no resolution.
johnottinger: Philosophical: Uses highbrow language to talk about simple themes.
genreville: Interesting: presumably interesting to someone other than me.
LeeAHarris: "When you consider the author's back catalogue": I can't think of anything else to say, but I have a wordcount target.
genreville: In context: let me tell you about this other book I read last week.
SpiralGalaxy: Journalistic style: fer chrissake, Asimov could write more interesting sentences than this!
SpiralGalaxy: Overwritten: tl;dr
genreville: Dreamlike: I didn't understand it.
genreville: Trippy: I didn't understand it.
ian_sales: 'suffers from middle-book syndrome': nothing happens in the book
genreville: Esoteric: I didn't understand it.
genreville: Controversial: I didn't agree with it.
genreville: Broad appeal: a story in which no one cusses, fights, or has sex.
SpiralGalaxy: Mind-blowing: contains a slightly new twist on 50 year old trope.
LeeAHarris: "This book is being hailed as": I didn't have time to read it, but I disliked the cover blurb.
ian_sales: ' a fast read': written almost entirely using one-syllable words
ian_sales: 'grand master': he hasn't published anything interesting for a couple of decades
genreville: Hard SF: a story with rockets.
genreville: Space opera: a story with rockets that go faster than light.
ian_sales: 'military sf': in space, you can refight the Vietnam War... and win
genreville: MilSF: a story with rockets and guns.
ian_sales: 'sparkles with ideas': I couldn't find a plot
genreville: SF romance: a story with zero-gee sex.
SFDiplomat: 'branching into YA' : If I can convince my publishers to market my books differently, I'll make more money
SFDiplomat: 'trying my hand at fantasy' : I recently decided to remortgage my house
ian_sales: 'a guilty pleasure': it's crap but the author is a mate
ian_sales: 'hard-hitting': someone dies on the first page
SFDiplomat: 'Lovecraftian' : Features the words 'viscous' and 'pulsating' a lot
genreville: Suitable for all ages: a story in which there are stupid children. YA: a story in which there are smart children.
SpiralGalaxy: Page-turner: Chapters all less than 4 pages long.
PaulGrahamRaven: @SpiralGalaxy 'in the vein of Kevin J Anderson': chapters all less than two pages long. ;)
johnottinger: Similar to ASOIF: I have no idea how good this book is, but if I tell people it is similar, they will buy it.
ceciliatan: @genreville Fantasy: anything with people wearing cloaks and traipsing. Lots of traipsing.
ceciliatan: @genreville High Fantasy: anything with people wearing cloaks and traipsing, while other people wear crowns. Or tiaras.
missyjack: Literary:Boring & didn't understand a word of it but if I say so people will think I'm stupid. see also "unique voice"
magiciansbook: Lyrical: Extended descriptions of weather, foliage or geology.
colsonwhitehead: Gemlike: No one has used these adjectives in years.
CraigRanapia: Erotic: Pretentious. porn
adamegypt: "Graphic Novel": This book is in the same format as those ones about a sarcastic orange cat. Hehe. I hate mondays too.
CraigRanapia: @adamegypt I thought 'graphic novel' was shorthand for "comic that looks like a REAL book"
katiegriffin: Eclectic: Drew from 2 similar sources, both of which I am familiar with.
And there you have it. Now you too can be a high-powered reviewer too!
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Because it's always good to make fun of Asimov.