How to Commission a Fantasy Picture

[roseembolism]

For a project, I've been looking at a lot of fantasy artwork, particularly that of female costumes. And while there is actually quite a bit of good artwork out there, standard fantasy art seems to be commissioned on a different basis.  For people who want artwork like that, I give you the specifications you should use for the artist.

"OK, so for this female ranger on the cover, I want her to be lean and athletic, except she should have huge, really firm cone-shaped  breasts. We're talking epic, fantasy-scale breasts. *gestures* See, like this, except more. No, LARGER! Great!  Now for armor she should have a leather mini-bustier-bra thingie, so you can drown a hobbit in her cleavage, and can see her belly down to her hip joints at least. Did I mention we can tell it's chilly outside? Let's see...she should be wearing one of those  loin-cloth-drapery things so we can tell she's had a bikini wax, but she should be wearing some more armor... armor up her shoulders - really big armor pads. You can also put some leather armor on her knee high boots with six-inch heels. Most important, she should be standing holding her bow, but twisted around so we can see both her ass and her breasts, twist more! And arch that back, yeah, that's right. Now give her something like, Liv Tyler lips, and an angry snarl-pout, like she can't decide whether she wants to kill you or do you, or both.

And oh yeah, make her an elf. And blond."

Not that I'm bitter or something, and yeah, you've heard it all before. I just think I need to take a break from bad gaming artwork.

Comments

[seawasp]

CONE shaped? Surely not; I don't think I've EVER seen conical breasts; the closest I've seen were actually in real life. For Fantasy Babe we need HEMISPHERES. Unaffected by gravity (unless animated, in which case they will Gainax very effectively)except *maybe* for about a .5" of sag to give a rounded undercurve. That's "realistic", you know. The hemispheres may include additional cylindrical and roughly half-inch high nipples if the venue allows it; you can probably get away with hints of nipples under the clothing if not.

On the other hand, if you actually GAVE that instruction to the artist, but you're not the one holding a gun to their heads, you'll probably end up with a black-haired goth-girl in leather armor at night, and looking adorably grungy.

[roseembolism.livejournal.com]

Well the client wants it to "Look real" of course.

And adorable grungyness will lead to the artist not getting paid. Not that they usually get paid anyway.

[baronlaw.livejournal.com]

and remember to make it look "real" !

lol

[silverstreak.livejournal.com]

And the problem iiiiissss....? You have problem with how Boris draw ladies?

[roseembolism.livejournal.com]

For clients like this, Boris would not qualify. "How can you even tell she's a girl? Her breasts are smaller than her head!"

[pirateseneschal.livejournal.com]

Worst commission in the world:
"Okay, make my tattoed elf skinny, with big ears and a green bustier."
*does drawing*
"... Can you make her.. y'know.. bigger?"
*makes bigger*
"Uh.. bigger than that?"
*makes bigger*
"A little more?"
*kludges some bean bags to her front* "There I fixed it."

[roseembolism.livejournal.com]

There's always a worse commission.
"Can you draw KIm Possible and Shego, uh-"
"Shutupshutupshutupshutup!"

[ghilledhu.livejournal.com]

...well, I suppose that qualifies as fantasy for someone.