roseembolism (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
roseembolism) wrote2010-11-16 10:11 am
roseembolism) wrote2010-11-16 10:11 am
Not that I ever intend to run this,, but...
Someone was complaining in a recent thread about most players in fantasy games acting like a pack of murderous, psychhopathic hobos. While normally I would commiserate about the sociopathic nature of most player characters, this time something went "Sproing!" and I thought: hey, isn't this a fantasy version of a slasher movie where the PCS are the unstoppable killers? So why not give the players what they want and make it an actual slasher-flc style game?:
"You see a couple of teenage orcs having sex in the woods."
"I sneak up on them and hack them apart with my +5 chainsaw of dismembering!"
(See? It's not that far away from your average fantasy game, except the monsters are doing something besides guarding treasure.)
So, the moon is full and the woods around the village are filled with young kobold, goblinoid and drow couples with just one thing on their minds. Put on your hockey mask and gather up your favorite gardening implements; will cold blooded murder or teenage hormones rule the night?
Oh yeah- you also need a theme song.
Coming this Christmas to a theater near you-
the most terrifying game behind a screen.
There's a homicidal paladin who finds a goblin troop-
and he hacks up 9 or 10 in every scene.
Please don't reveal the secret die rolls to players-
don't spoil the big surprise,
You won't believe your eyes!
When you see PALADIN IN HELL! PALADIN IN HELL! PALADIN IN HELL IN 3-D! 3-D!!!
"You see a couple of teenage orcs having sex in the woods."
"I sneak up on them and hack them apart with my +5 chainsaw of dismembering!"
(See? It's not that far away from your average fantasy game, except the monsters are doing something besides guarding treasure.)
So, the moon is full and the woods around the village are filled with young kobold, goblinoid and drow couples with just one thing on their minds. Put on your hockey mask and gather up your favorite gardening implements; will cold blooded murder or teenage hormones rule the night?
Oh yeah- you also need a theme song.
Coming this Christmas to a theater near you-
the most terrifying game behind a screen.
There's a homicidal paladin who finds a goblin troop-
and he hacks up 9 or 10 in every scene.
Please don't reveal the secret die rolls to players-
don't spoil the big surprise,
You won't believe your eyes!
When you see PALADIN IN HELL! PALADIN IN HELL! PALADIN IN HELL IN 3-D! 3-D!!!