Not that I ever intend to run this,, but...

[roseembolism]

Someone was complaining in a recent thread about most players in fantasy games acting like a pack of murderous, psychhopathic hobos. While normally I would commiserate about the sociopathic nature of most player characters, this time something went "Sproing!" and I thought: hey, isn't this a fantasy version of a slasher movie where the PCS are the unstoppable killers? So why not give the players what they want and make it an actual slasher-flc style game?:
"You see a couple of teenage orcs having sex in the woods."
"I sneak up on them and hack them apart with my +5 chainsaw of dismembering!"
(See? It's not that far away from your average fantasy game, except the monsters are doing something besides guarding treasure.)

So, the moon is full and the woods around the village are filled with young kobold, goblinoid and drow couples with just one thing on their minds. Put on your hockey mask and gather up your favorite gardening implements; will cold blooded murder or teenage hormones rule the night?


Oh yeah- you also need a theme song.

Coming this Christmas to a theater near you-
the most terrifying game behind a screen.
There's a homicidal paladin who finds a goblin troop-
and he hacks up 9 or 10 in every scene.

Please don't reveal the secret die rolls to players-
don't spoil the big surprise,
You won't believe your eyes!
When you see PALADIN IN HELL! PALADIN IN HELL! PALADIN IN HELL IN 3-D! 3-D!!!

Comments

[fintach.livejournal.com]

"murderous, psychhopathic hobos"

Complain? That's what we named our adventuring company!

[roseembolism.livejournal.com]

Oh, so you play Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay then?

[deirdremoon.livejournal.com]

Heh. I see what you did there. :)

(Lehrer turns up in my head at the damnedest times. I blame rhylar, personally.)

[fintach.livejournal.com]

Where did I miss the Lehrer reference? I know the song was Weird Al. . . .

[deirdremoon.livejournal.com]

D'oh! You're right, misremembered.

[seawasp]

The sight of two orcs engaged in ... such relations was enough to traumatize one PC in a game I was in for life.

I actually have almost never seen in real RPGs the Psychopathic Hobo type of player. It's the default in CRPGs, but hey, it's ENCOURAGED that you go into people's HOUSES and take their stuff without asking in most of them.

[roseembolism.livejournal.com]

Oddly enough our current 4E game is one of the least violent games I've been in- most of our opponents have been spiders and bunnies. Mind controlling bunnies.

And it's not like those CRPGs promote violence, the people seriously don't mind if you walk in and root through their stuff. That's why Morrowind was such a surprise, when accidentally clicking on the wrong item can get an entire city or wizard's guild screaming at you.

every non-shopping final fantasy NPC interaction

[racerxmachina.livejournal.com]

Grandma: Hello, Final Fantasy Character. Have a cookie, and also ten pages of expository dialogue about our village.
FF character: TL;DR, OM NOM COOKIE i'm in ur house, stealin ur magic itemz

[racerxmachina.livejournal.com]

Actually, some paladins don't mind at all, as long as the goblins involved are caring, consenting individuals that use protection.

And they should watch out for nettles. Ouch.

[ragnarok-now.livejournal.com]

This is acutally very easy now that Paladins don't have to be remotely good.