roseembolism (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
roseembolism) wrote2005-12-19 04:53 pm
roseembolism) wrote2005-12-19 04:53 pm
Everything I know about MRI...I learned from watching "House".
...
So, since I'm going in tomorrow for an MRI of my sinuses (to see what terminal nose warts I may have), it's a good idea to review what I can expect when I go into the clinic.
1) There is a 75% chance that when put into the MRI, I will start convulsing violently. Lord knows what it is about the MRI that causes convulsions- why do they even still have those things?
2) Fortunately, there will be a highly-trained staff of neurologists just standing by ready to find out what is wrong with me.
3) Unfortunately, their first two guesses as to what's wrong with me, will be wrong. And at least one of the treatments they give me will send me into convulsions or a coma.
4) The final treatment for me will be something cheap and easy to do, so I will be out f the hospital in no time. Unless of course I have rabies, in which case I'm toast.
5) There is a fair chance that the oh-so-severe-but-hot hospital administrator will stop by my room. Unfortunately, I will be too sick to appreciate that event.
6) There's a better chance that the crusty yet straight-shooting lead neurologist will stop by to talk to me. I will not find this comforting, for some reason.
7) Oh yeah- for some reason, I will lie. Don't ask me why- evidently something about the hospital will just cause me to lie whether I want to or not.
And there- I'm all ready to find out what's going on in my sinuses. I should be back in a month or two.
So, since I'm going in tomorrow for an MRI of my sinuses (to see what terminal nose warts I may have), it's a good idea to review what I can expect when I go into the clinic.
1) There is a 75% chance that when put into the MRI, I will start convulsing violently. Lord knows what it is about the MRI that causes convulsions- why do they even still have those things?
2) Fortunately, there will be a highly-trained staff of neurologists just standing by ready to find out what is wrong with me.
3) Unfortunately, their first two guesses as to what's wrong with me, will be wrong. And at least one of the treatments they give me will send me into convulsions or a coma.
4) The final treatment for me will be something cheap and easy to do, so I will be out f the hospital in no time. Unless of course I have rabies, in which case I'm toast.
5) There is a fair chance that the oh-so-severe-but-hot hospital administrator will stop by my room. Unfortunately, I will be too sick to appreciate that event.
6) There's a better chance that the crusty yet straight-shooting lead neurologist will stop by to talk to me. I will not find this comforting, for some reason.
7) Oh yeah- for some reason, I will lie. Don't ask me why- evidently something about the hospital will just cause me to lie whether I want to or not.
And there- I'm all ready to find out what's going on in my sinuses. I should be back in a month or two.
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Good luck with everything tomorrow!
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Anyway, by 2:30 it'll all be over- either I'll be back at work, or in the IU.
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"Nuclear Magnetic Resonance". Anyway, hope all goes well with the test.