Our political scandals are so drab and boring next to Canadian ones

...like the Bernier affair.   

It's just not fair.  All WE get are Republican congresscritters giving blow jobs in restrooms; nothing compared to a scandal involving: beautiful women, Hell's Angels, confidential government materials left in ex-girlfriend's apartments , bedrooms being bugged...and no, i'm not exaggerating.  

Obviously, we have a scandal gap.  When we're not only falling behind  the French and Italians, but also the Canadians, it's obvious that Something Must be Done.  Someone needs to step up and make a sacrifice for America.  It's not asking too much for say, Karl Rove be found dead from erotic auto-asphyxiation while wearing a Catholic schoolgirl outfit and smeared with chocolate, carmel and peanuts, is it? Just to keep up with Canada? 

Please?

Better drinking through engineering!

 Or ingenious fruit plumbing, anyway.  This website shows how to put a tap in a watermelon to serve spiked watermelon juice, 

This makes me wish I had more time to do some construction before the party on Saturday.